World Bum

Will the net (f.k.a. the Internet) help turn our planet into an efficient mechanical monster being? Love the idea.

I think it’s time. It’s been bugging from the first day I heard about it, but I dared not speak of this to anyone. That’s changed now. I’m ready to submit to the world’s judgment. And I have the best place to stage my rebellion — a blog that no one reads. Brilliant, I hope the wrath won’t sweep me away.

It’s time we stopped calling the Internet the Internet, and start calling it the Net. Of course, I don’t have a revolutionary etymological basis for this, but I find that the cumbersomeness of having to say “inter” every time can easily be left up the creek, never to think of again.

Back in the 60s when the Internet was first conceived, it made sense to talk about the interconnectedness of the first two computer networks that were linked. We then went on to add a few more networks, then another, then connected it to the inter network of one other country, then others joined. The whole thing proved mightily handy and many more hitched onto it… and by the mid 90s, the network was so robust and vast that it was no longer connecting computers. It became the vascular system of our world: it carried commerce, information and most importantly, it started to become a great facility for the innate human need to connect with others and form communities. If you’re able to read this, you know the rest: Blogger, Friendster, My Space, Facebook, Twitter.

Its usefulness is sprawling beyond prediction.

Nowadays, if something runs on electricity, it can likely be programmed to connect to the Internet; to be controlled remotely or to be synchronized with other things for the pleasure of its owner. You want the lights dimmed in the dog house before you leave the office? No problem! But this is just the beginning of what is set to grow from being the vascular system of our collective existence to the skeleton of the Death Star we’re undoubtedly going to turn this planet into. So we might as well start to let go of the idea of the Internet as this magical thing where we get our porn and the weather, and begin to be a bit more incorporating of what’s inevitably coming to us — the Net that will bind cars, appliances, roads, public transportation, utilities, work, vacations, bills, legwork, housework, humans, animals, entertainment, customization, medical and tax records, charity and chores all into one coherent experience controlled somewhat centrally, to which we’ll interface thanks to a nano brain implant and an eye lens viewer.

If nothing else can convince you, allow me to appeal to your laziness — imagine a world where you don’t have to say or write “inter” in front of “net”. It adds up over a lifetime… and you could use the time to take a pottery class in your 90s! This truly is the only substantive reason that propels me to trouble myself with writing this.

A friend gave me the idea to ask this question: what’s your first memory of being on the internet? Yes, yes. I realize that’s private.